Jealousy jokes

"Prince, why that girl, not me! What about me!!!!!!!"

Emos get jealous when their phone dies.

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!

Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.

I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.

Oh, you're jealous now.

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.

ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.

My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.

Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?

Lights are hanging.

Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.

Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"

Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."