Short jokes
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
Hippity hoppity, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.