Short jokes
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
Click the 👍 if you hate school.
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
Hippity hoppity, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.