Short jokes
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
You know, most people take rocks for granite... sorry.
Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would've seen it.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?