Short jokes
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
Brazil is a joke.
The UK is a joke. I want to leave ASAP.
Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.
Stephen landed at Tilted and got 199 pumped, he's 1 shot!
If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?
Dark humor is like water. It exists.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.