Short jokes
"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
If you are a robot, you cannot talk.
When the washer started running, why did you join me?
Because I had to catch it.
Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
Pictures of the people commenting.
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
What's green and sticky?
... A stick.
Is your tap water running well?
Beta, go catch it!
Is your oven running?
Then you better go catch it!
Deeeeeertt.