Short jokes
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.