Short jokes
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
"I love you 😘" was the night you got a iiooooo.
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?
Why didn't the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless.
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
Roddy Rick Dalby
There’s no “I” in team, but there is a “U” in cunt.
Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
What did the booty say to the chair?
"You complete me!"
Knock knock. Who is there?
I don't know.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.