Short jokes
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
What is a Irish 💋 😗 kiss 💋 a blowjob from a gay Irishman
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.