Short jokes
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.