Short jokes
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
What is a Irish 💋 😗 kiss 💋 a blowjob from a gay Irishman