Short jokes
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
Curry.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
We all hear cause we cut ourselves, right? I mean, JK.
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.
How do you know when an orphan is lying?
When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.