What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
Short Jokes
Maude of ghostposter is a dumb Christian pussy-ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious, although I hate her.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?
It was family friendly.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.
Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Where did my rabbit go?
*crunch*
