Short jokes
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
Donibobes is an owl. (hehe look up donibobes YT!)
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Oliver
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
Your mum isn't home.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.