Short jokes
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Toby Fox.
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
"Korn Kob Kyle??? You know what this means!"
yikes...
#PlugWalk
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.