Short jokes
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
Us: haha penis.
Korea: That sounds like a park name.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!