Short jokes

Short Jokes

Nudist colony

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Emo

What would you rather be, emo or handicapped?

Trick question, emo is a handicap.

Toe

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

Marshmallow

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Pirate

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Mom

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

Orphan

Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?

Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.

Fighter Jet

I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.

Permission

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

Emo

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Telescope

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

Slave

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

Piracy

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

People

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

Blanket

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.