Short jokes
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
Why did the knights laugh when they run?
The grass tickled their balls. 😅😂🤣
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
Si, papi?
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
I like trains.
*train hits him*
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."