Short jokes
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
What's autism! My name is Dee Snutz!
What is a queef?
Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
Kollaps
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What do you call a cringey Indian man? A Cringian.
Sorry, the joke is bad :(
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
If you need to squint to read this...
You probably need glasses.
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.