Short jokes
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.
I'm offended.
- Liberals
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Why can’t you private text someone in a community?
Because a community has more than two people.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!