Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
Short Jokes
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
Pop a choccy milk!
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Why can’t you private text someone in a community?
Because a community has more than two people.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
