Short jokes
My favorite planet is Saturn because it is tight next to Uranus.
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Incest is wincest.
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
Why'd the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.
Politics.
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
Time to play guitar!
*absolutely shreds*