Short jokes
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
What do you call a stupid male Indian?
"Anshu-man."
We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.
Manchester City is gay.
Say "beans" fast three times.
Now you’re an idiot.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
Uranus has 27 moons.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
Ask a darkie for a light.