Short jokes

Short jokes

Shot

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

Priest

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

Temperature

The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”

Nut

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

Video Game

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Adoption center

A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.

9/11

I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."

Muslim

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

Emo

An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.

Christmas

Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?

'Cause they're the ones making the toys.

Loop

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

Orphan

What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?

They take in 100's of kids.

Bee

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!