Short jokes
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
Social media after banning Trump from every platform: “Haha he’s so embarrassed that he doesn’t speak anymore...what an idiot!”
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
Can I put my baaaaalls in yo jaaaaaaws?
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
Why do orphans have 363 days on the calendar? Because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day!
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"
I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣
I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
Me: I just shot an orphan.
Mate: You can’t do that!
Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!