You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
Short Jokes
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
What is an orphan's hated movie line?
E.T. phone home.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
Why is the US so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
