Short jokes
The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.
Ur next.
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
He jizzes canned cheese.