Short jokes
9/11
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
McDonald's :)
You make the juice go through my power brick.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
Uranus is up in the sky today.