Short jokes

Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!

If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

Guy: That's probably because you're single.

If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...

Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.

Like and comment if you get it!

My grandfather had the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

My shirt is only red when I think about sex.

I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.

I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.

Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!

U geiy haha lol.

My brother

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!

James Arnold: My grandma walked in while I was knife raping my wife.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?

When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.

Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.

Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.