Short jokes
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
Ask a darkie for a light.
My favorite planet is Saturn because it is tight next to Uranus.
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!