Short jokes
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.
My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"
Up your pp with a piece of crap!
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.
I guess Neptune is next to Your Anus XDDDD.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What is a spacemanās favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they donāt know what a home is.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.