Short jokes
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
Time to play guitar!
*absolutely shreds*
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
There is no god. None, not one.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
Great news for all Star Wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg
Why did Techno die?
They broke his bed.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.