Short jokes
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).
Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Wow, these cow jokes are moo-amazing!
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."