Short jokes
All of them.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
Perrie.
What is a gay man's favorite hobby?
Cockfighting.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
Aaron.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.