Short jokes
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
Uranus is up in the sky today.
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.