Short jokes
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
Deaf people suck lots of dicks.
They can't hear!
You know Sally? She's dead now.
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
Me.
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
I am Cummer.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?
Black and white.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.