Short jokes
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're annoying as fuck.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.