Short jokes
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
Cameron and Pav.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.