Short jokes
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
A true God would be godless himself.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.