Short jokes
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
I put the D in Children.
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.
...
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!