Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!
Short Jokes
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Robetoe.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
Ask a darkie for a light.
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
"Gay Furry Femboys are cool."
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
You're so ugly you make gay/lesbian people straight!
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
