Short jokes
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Me.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?
Black and white.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.
Kill yourself!
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)
The homophobes writing these jokes.
Woman jokes aren't funny, period.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
Add me on Discord! @ moon💕#9999