Short jokes
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
Just chatting, Tim! 🌷🌷🌷🌷
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."