Short jokes

What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.

I am on the German website.

Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.

"Where do young trees go to learn?"

"Elementree school."

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.