Short jokes
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
Just chatting, Tim! 🌷🌷🌷🌷
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
Which is better looking, girls or women?
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.