Short jokes
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
"Have fun at school night" is what?
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
I did a good job of being home from school.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.
I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.