Short jokes
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Q. Which game does necro like the most?
Into the dead part 1.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
"Jack Sparrow."
"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow!"
I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.
Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
What's wrong with Asian pet stores?
There's no pets.
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?