Short jokes
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
kapteyn = captain
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
Ready when you are, KK.
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.