My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Short Jokes
Removing the polish with chemicals: 😀
Removing the Polish with chemicals: 😳
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
I like dildos.
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
