Short jokes
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
Emo t-shirt:
"EXISTENCE IS FUTILE."
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
"Have fun at school night" is what?
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
I was doin' your mom, yes yours!
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
Scree.
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?