Short jokes
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.