Short jokes
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!