Short jokes
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?