Short jokes
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.