Short jokes
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.