You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
Short Jokes
The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
