Short jokes
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Well, it really do be like it shouldn't, but it is.
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.
BLESSEDBRIAN is the reason they invented the mute button.
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?
Green Bay Packers & New England Patriots
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
What do you call multiple quintuplets that look the same?
Naruto's mom.
What do Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley, and Rashida Tlaib all have in common?
All four of them are garbage.
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.
At school I am always called emo.
Little did they know that emos are wannabe goths.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
Nope, nope, and nope.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.