Short jokes
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”