Short jokes
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.