Short jokes
What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.