Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
Short Jokes
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
