Short jokes
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.