Short jokes
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!
The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.