Short jokes
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!