Short jokes
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Nobody: People on the Titanic: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?
Tax credit.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!