Short jokes

Short jokes

Lettuce

Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!

Group

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

Grocery

A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.

He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."

Stairs

Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes

Xbox

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

Boyfriend

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Song

What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?

Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and putty?

You can only eat one.

Dollar

One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."

Door

"Knock Knock..."

"Who's There?"

"Kenya"

"Kenya who?"

"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"

Water

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Water.

Water who?

Water you waiting for, just let me in!

Baby

Q: Why did the baby cross the road?

A: It wasn't in its car seat.

Date

Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.

She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.

Comedian

They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.

Well, they're not laughing now!