Short jokes
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
Octopus.
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Octopus, more like octopussy.