Short jokes
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.
What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
My name is what orphans can never have.
What sank the Titanic?
GODZILLA!