Short jokes
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
How to stop bullying?
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
What do Orphans say on Father's Day?
Well, not "Happy Father's Day."