Short jokes
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
I am on the German website.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
Is BB hungry? No, BB-8.
Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?
"Jenga!"
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."