Short jokes
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.