Short jokes
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.