Short jokes
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
What's a building's first crush? A plane.
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
money + money = MONEY
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
Allah akbar.
Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.
Hello ppls, I'm lilkitten ig.