Short jokes
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
What's the difference between Lana Del Rey and Milli Vanilli?
Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Am I a guard or a guava?
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Why are natives called redskins? Idk, ask the pilgrims 😂