Short jokes
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.