A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
Short Jokes
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.
Closer kin, deeper in!
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
