Short jokes
Had to go to the barbers just to get your hairline sorted.
Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.
Earth is smaller than Uranus, wth?
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.
One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Just looking for a cunt...
Oh hello, found one.
Burn witches and stone whores.
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time… and walk past.
Looks dragon!
Draggin' these nuts across yo face!
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.