Short jokes
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.
So people call me poor until they see my bank account.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
I like tacos more than you like tacos.
Who likes more tacos?
Mee! said the taco.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
Wanna hear a joke? Your dad leaving you, you sad clown!
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.
You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.