Short jokes

Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.

Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.

What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.

Gravity sure is fast.

Why don't orphans like to get lost?

Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.

To the guy who stole my depression medication,

I hope you're happy.

What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."

Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.

What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?

One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

What is an Emo’s favourite music element?

Self harmony.

I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.