Short jokes
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say "black paint" anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall?"
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
What is the richest planet?
Saturn đȘ- It has many rings.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Whatâs the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
What's an emo's least favorite show?
Dr. Phil.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... Thatâll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
Where did Hitler send kids with ADHD?
Concentration camp.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Whatâs the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.