Short jokes
What is the richest planet?
Saturn đȘ- It has many rings.
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say "black paint" anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall?"
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.
What's an emo's least favorite show?
Dr. Phil.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... Thatâll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
Whatâs the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
Whatâs the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.