Short jokes
What were Christa McAuliffe’s last words to her husband?
"You feed the dog, I’ll feed the fish."
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.
I love Little Mix.
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
Bob's Family Restaurant:
Orphans:
:(
It's cavers.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
What's the best part about getting a lap dance from an Asian woman?
Her eyes are so narrow that she can't see if you don't pay her.
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because it was Batman!
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.