Short jokes
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
Closer kin, deeper in!
What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Snow balls.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.