Short jokes
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
What did Charizard say to Arceus? "Knife to meet you, literally. I got you out of Pokémon Sword and Shield!"
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.
"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can walk and a house can walk to a tree, walk home, walk, walk, and walk, walk.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?
Then you get the name Chrisa.
2 times 4 equals 18?
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What is the octopus's favorite shape?
An octagon.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.