Short jokes
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
Closer kin, deeper in!
What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Snow balls.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.