Short jokes
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
We spend the weekend getting the poop out!
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)