Short jokes
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
What's America's no. 1 class?
Target practice.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Orphan joke club Discord coming soon.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.