I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Short Jokes
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Why woman?
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
"Welcome to the gulag."
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
