Short jokes
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
Listen to the autism song on TikTok.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.