Short jokes
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
What's 6 plus 7?
67.
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?