Short jokes
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.