Short jokes
I play Fortnite, but also I play Minecraft for 14 nights.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
I was gonna clean my room
before I got high.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Where did Sally go during the summer? Swimming.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.