Short jokes
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
My username good.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.