Short jokes
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
IBC.
IBC who?
I'll be seeing you later.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.