Short jokes
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
I have some jokes about popcorn.
Nah, they're too corny.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Keep calm and curry on!
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Why tie when you can knot?
Snort poo poo.
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!