Short jokes
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
Where does a black Eskimo live?
In a Nigglu.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.