Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
Short Jokes
A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.
You're pretty, pretty dumb.
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Why are Americans so bad at class royals?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
idkl
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
Allah akbar.
I like my humans like I like my chicken... Fully cooked.
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
