Short jokes
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
There are 3 Genders.
1: Man
2: Woman
3: Mentally ill.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What's 6 plus 7?
67.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
May.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!