Short jokes
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
My name is Gunter.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.