Short jokes
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
What does Ben 10 call his wife?
Humungouswhore
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.