Short jokes
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
May.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.