Short jokes
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Penis, peepee, poopoo!
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
3+3=****