Short jokes
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
I want to die.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
What do you call an Indian babysitter?
Nanny.
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?
A: On The Border.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"