Short jokes
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Penis, peepee, poopoo!
I watch sexy girls AMV and my pp goes up and down and up.
My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!