Short jokes
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Jimmy: Your mom is gay.
Me: No, you.
Jimmy: I have no mom.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Uranus is a gassy planet.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!