Short jokes

My parents love me.

Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.

Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!

Make like a drum and beat it!

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?

The Demon at least has a trade offer.

When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...

What's a priest's favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe.

Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?

You get no-eye-deer.

Ariana Grande

One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.

I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!

Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.

Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?

So there’s more for the priest.

You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.