Short jokes

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"

"Islam it is."

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.

What do you call a white kid at the back of class?

A school shooter.

You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

...

I'm still trying to think of an answer.

Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.

Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?

Because he didn't have a pen to write with.

My username good.

When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)

Why do the police never catch the orphan?

The orphan is not wanted.

You know Imagine Dragons?

Imagine draggin' these balls.

I like my men like I like my Alexa:

By my bed and turned on.