Short jokes
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
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I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
I hate these double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...