Short jokes
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?
Answer: Loneliness.
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?
They always see a stepdad and stepsis.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?