Short jokes

What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!

Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?

Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.

Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?

Me: Oh, good, you?

Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.

A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.

Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?

The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.

Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!

You: Why? I don't have any.

Penis, peepee, poopoo!

I watch sexy girls AMV and my pp goes up and down and up.

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?

"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."

The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.

What do turtles use to communicate?

A shellphone!

I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"

What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.