Short jokes
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"
Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
Rape victims suck, literally.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.