Short jokes
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
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