Short jokes
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!