Short jokes
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
My name is Gunter.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!