Short jokes
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
Jimmy: Your mom is gay.
Me: No, you.
Jimmy: I have no mom.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.