Short jokes

Short jokes

Hairline

When someone calls you gay, say:

"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"

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  • Rape

    Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.

    Mama

    Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...

    Date

    Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

    Hormone

    So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

    Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

    School shooting

    So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

    Orphan

    Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??

    Flowers get picked.

    Nut

    Have you ever heard about the new virus in China? It's called Hupun.

    Hupun DEEZ NUTS!

    Orange

    The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.

    Smoothie

    What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!

    Uranus

    Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

    Kids yell: Sun.

    Except for one.

    Other kid: Uranus.

    Teacher: Uranus?

    Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

    Orphan

    A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

    Alexa

    I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."