Short jokes
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.