Short jokes

Short jokes

Sex

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

Flower

We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.

We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.

Friend

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

Body

I hate these double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

Dad

When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.

Ball

Why did the two balls cross the road?

To get to the penis!

Sorry, too rude?

Bed

Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...

Cancer

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Answer: cancer.

Cannibal

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

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  • Woman

    I like my women like I like my scotch:

    12 years old and mixed with coke.

    Lesbian

    Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

    Getting your fingers stuck in there.

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  • Prey

    What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

    Let us prey.