Short jokes
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”