Short jokes
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
Ballz!
Uranus is a gassy planet.
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
Jimmy: Your mom is gay.
Me: No, you.
Jimmy: I have no mom.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.