Short jokes
"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Me :D
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
I'm Pickle Rick from Fortnite hahahahahaha!
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
Transgenders! Men in disguise!
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.