Short jokes
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.